Tuesday, April 10, 2018

The Art of the Good Life #18 : The "End of History" Illusion

I said recently on social media that an intelligent woman is like a magical sword. If you are not capable enough as a guy to wield this weapon, you can get yourself hurt really really badly.

A very intelligent and capable lady once bragged to me that her husband/boyfriend is a lucky guy because she is smart enough to say the right things to motivate him so that he can become very successful in life. She will push him to become an alpha male, a leader of men that commands respect.

Someone suitable enough for a daughter of a better age.

But as smart as she is, here's something that she does not know about us men.

It's hard to change us.

Changes happen as we interact with the environment. We change only when we are internally motivated to do so. A lot of tragedies in families arises from the desire of the wife to change the husband. A typical tragedy always involve marrying a man-child and expecting him to become a responsible dad overnight. I think you have better luck hoping for a rebound in crypto-currency prices.

While it is hard to change someone, we are always changing - just not in ways that some ambitious or highly intelligent women would find desirable. The rate of change is constant throughout our lives. A hard charging executive might become a lazy has-been after reaching his 40s. Even I changed from a gainfully employed  technology professional to a woefully underemployed legal professional.

Thus the HR adage that companies "hire for attitude but train for skill" is a wise move.

[ Kudos to this intelligent lady I spoke of. She become a highly successful executive and married a truck driver. ]

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