Someone wanted me to elaborate on my idea that a guy shouldn't date until he has a source of passive income.
So maybe I share a little bit of my story when I was starting out with the FIRE movement.
In my twenties, there wasn't a FIRE movement, but I was acutely aware of what was likely to happen to me in my 50s due to the lack of folks in their 50s in an American MNC, so I started saving like crazy because the outsourcing wave had just started and companies were farming off their IT departments to benefit from labor arbitrage. In those days, ETFs did not exist, so my funds were mainly in a Templeton Global Equity Fund, which I eventually liquidated and transferred to a CDP portfolio of dividend stocks.
Once I started collecting dividends, it became very natural to want a certain amount of money on average every month. I settled on $600 a month because it was my allowance during my university days. At that time, my benchmark-yielding stock was SPH, which yielded about 6%, so I just needed $120,000 in my CDP across various stocks and REITs that yielded about 6% to meet my target.
Prior to hitting this target, I didn't really date during my single days because I didn't think I could be a good provider if I couldn't at least replicate my University allowance through an investment portfolio. At the very least, I just needed my investment income to pay for dates.
Looking back, now that I am in my 50s, a lot of the things I predicted have come true!
Folks of my generation are losing their jobs to retrenchment exercises, and ageism practically guarantees that they will spend their days doing SkillFutures courses and watching their savings dwindle before finding a job that pays half as much.
So recently, I've doubled down on this idea.
I think Gen Z is in a transitional phase where guys are still expected to play the role of provider, but women are becoming more financially independent, and jobs are no longer as stable as before. Right now, some kind of new masculinity is still a work in progress, so guys still need to man up and play a provider role. And, I suspect in practice, throughout a marriage, both spouses may have to endure periods of unemployment throughout their working lives, but guys stand to take a larger hit to their egos if they can't play the role of a provider in a family unit.
To make things more interesting, I'm going to borrow some software engineering concepts from this excellent book, which I'm currently obsessed with, Designing Data-Intensive Applications, which is rapidly becoming the go-to book for casual-vibe coders looking to level up to senior-level engineering skills.
The book distinguishes between a fault and a failure.
In an array of hard disks in a RAID-5 arrangement, one hard disk failure is a fault. It can be replaced with no real system outage because RAID-5 is fault-tolerant. Just pull the hard disk out and put a new one in, and you're good to go. However, if two hard disks fail in a RAID-5 array, we have a failure because recovery is impossible without replacing hardware, followed by tape recovery.
So you can recover from a fault painlessly, but generally, failures can be events that you might not recover from.
Taking this back to family economics, in an ideal world, both spouses work, but if one spouse gets retrenched, it is just a fault in the system, and the family can recover so long as one spouse can hold the fort while the other finds a job.
But in practice, traditional norms ensure that if the wife loses her job, it's a fault that can be overcome. But if the husband loses the job, it's a failure. We see that many divorces are triggered by a lack of economic means on the husband's part or his inability to keep up with the wife's capabilities.
So if this observation is true, then the husband must develop fault tolerance internally.
The most basic approach is for the husband to generate multiple sources of income. This can be created with rental property, blue-chip stocks, song royalties, or a side hustle. The best source of side income should be passive, because you still have a day job to take care of.
So I think a young man should ask himself how much he will need to eke out a bare-bones existence living with his parents. Calculate the minimum amount of expenses you need. I think you can squeeze by on $500 a month.
Now, to generate this amount a month using a portfolio that yields 4%, multiply the number by 300. So, to generate $500 a month at a 4% yield, you will need $150,000 (300 x $500). The numbers look daunting at first, but if you can get $30,000, your monthly income will be raised by $100 a month, making the next $100 much easier to achieve with the salary raises you made along the way.
Of course, imagining that you can live on $500 a month is not enough.
We have to test it in a business continuity planning exercise.
While holding onto your job, you might want to just completely save your entire salary and set aside monthly expenses of just $500 just to see if you can survive on that.
Should young men who read this article follow my lead and refrain from entering the dating market until they have a passive income stream?
With AI disrupting the workplace, I think even if the young man refuses to ever enter the dating market, he needs a source of income if he finds that his skills are no longer valuable in the job market.
And young women, too, because the income from Gen Z guys is hardly reliable these days.