Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Dating advice for financially independent men.

I do not need to really blog anymore. These days, a fellow blogger might just refer some readers here and all I have to do is to react to their article.

Investment Moats put up a really hilarious article today.

Before I start, a little bit about my dating history. I was NOT financially independent when I was dating, but I was a bona fide cheap date in my early thirties struggling and failing every month to live on my dividends. But me and my missus were happy. We ordered a $7 Nasi Briyani from Shami Banana Leaf restaurant and the portion was large enough to be shared. I was cheap but I was able to assure my wife that I have the ability to look after her.

So back to the story from Investment Moats.

So a girl dates a really simple guy, then dumps him because she felt that he could not give her financial security, only to be told later that he is a rich heir.

I actually think that the heir was doing it wrong. It's one thing to avoid gold-diggers but it's another thing entirely if a rich heir acts like a hipster. Women would generally not find hipsters particularly attractive. Even if they do, in the Singapore Context, the heir would not pass the father-in-law test. No way I will let my daughter date a hipster, if the hipster turns out to be financially independent, I would still have concerns and think that he is being perverse.

That being said, if you are a financially independent and a single male, consider the following advice :

a) Even Superman has a day job as Clark Kent.

Have a fricking job that attracts good, single ladies. But what's a good wife ? Someone conscientious, agreeable and non-neurotic.

If you can choose your vocation because you shit gold, do engineering or accounting. Jobs like these exude security and does not pay decently enough to attract gold diggers. It also passes the father in law test with flying colours.  

Let's face it - Society is not prepared for men without jobs. It signals laziness and redundancy.

A savvy financially independent man may need to sever the idea that being financially independent means not having a job at all. I know, I spent 30 minutes explaining my income sources to an ICA officer for my wife's citizenship application. Even the government does not know how to deal with dividend income. Exasperating because the officer kept asking me why SGX pays me money every year and why is it not taxed.

I expect a many financially independent men to be cut down in dating circles in Singapore because most folks don't understand that it's possible not to work for a living.

b) Hunt in places where great wives exist.

I found my partner in Japanese class. I figured out that the best place to find a girlfriend is not in SDU or some situation that includes hard liquor. A rich heir can, of course, network with his peers in social economic status, that way both him and his girlfriend can avoid gold diggers.

A rich heir can easily enroll in an academic program to go spouse hunting. I would only advice that he should avoid law school, because the women know their Women's Charter well ( and would insist on joint ownership of property and would find creative ways to imply a resulting trust if you get a girlfriend after marriage. )

c) Joining a religious organization can be helpful in this regard

Even an atheist like myself would have to admit that churches are great places to find a spouse. It's almost like cell groups are designed for young people to meet each other and create more devout children for bigger tithes in the future.

This rich heir can ply his guitar skills for his cell group and then find someone who is not a gold digger.

d) Don't worry so much about the technicalities of law or finance. Just go date someone !

I know I transferred my CPF-OA to CPF-SA before I met my girlfriend because I don't want Singapore woman compel me to take on too big a mortgage. If a rich heir needs a way to mark out his non-matrimonial assets, set up some trust, it's best to do it while single before finding someone that he can be with for life.

I read so many cases in property law and all these legal problems boil down to failures of communication and trust within the family which money cannot really resolve.

Find someone you can love and keep for life, raise kids who can stand on their own and would not have to kill each other for your money and you can avoid becoming a case authority for the next generation of law students.

Did I mention that you should avoid situations with alcohol just now ?


  1. hey chris

    do you think joint tenancy makes for some rather perverse outcomes especially since its the default form of joint ownership.

    e.g. marry someone, murder them. the HDB goes to you. you die as you commit murder and now these assets belong to your family. all in a days work.

  2. Joint tenancy is the default choice and works for family arrangements.

    But no worries about murder, the person who commits it cannot benefit from his crime. I don't think the courts would allow this to happen if it was your intention to transfer the wealth to your family.