Saturday, February 14, 2015

Dating and Mating strategies for single men !

I finally managed to have a short date with the missus after writing my last article since my daughter had just fallen asleep. When I came back to the console after going for a late night Har Cheong Gai, there seems to be demand for an article for men on Valentine's Day

May God have mercy on your souls !

Initially, I felt that a men's article is unnecessary as I would consider this entire blog advice on how to live life for all men.

The other reason concerns how I feel about the guys in my JD class in SMU which makes a request for advice absurd. While it might sound silly, I have unearthed pseudo-mathematical evidence that the younger guys in my class are Masters of the Universe. 15 years ago, when I was in NUS, I had known girls who come to the Toastmasters to stalk the more eloquent male law students. They would go all the way from the science faculty to ogle at the guy, who is normally an NUS debater or king of the mooting competitions. This guy who was stalked once asked me what to do hoping that some troll would rub off on him, I told him to enjoy it because we engineering students want it but can't get that kind of attention even if we tried.  In conclusion, my classmates, who would likely be worth half a million after 13 of work at a 25% savings rate, don't need my help.

This advice is for the rest of the dudes :

a) Heads you win, tails you also win.

The world of male privilege is very simple. If you get married, congratulations. If you don't, congratulations to you as well.

The malaise of the 21st century is that there are too many sources of entertainment for men starved for sex and self-esteem. For pleasure, you can torrent porn into your system. For accomplishment, you can take out your level 100 Death Knight for a spin and organize a raid where doctors, lawyers, CEOs and high flying professionals may follow your orders to take out the Prince Arthas on WOW.

The only time you might not feel so WIN is when you crave for companionship.

This generally only happens on Valentine's Day.

b) Target 70% percentile in total income before you settle down.

At this stage you might be wondering why I was fixated at 70% percentile or $80,000 a year in annual income. The answer lies in an article I wrote for the Intelligent Singaporean 8 years ago on the night before I went for my ROM.   The article caused quite a stir and prompted some angry lady journalists from the Chinese papers wrote to me to get me to clarify my points.

Basically most women only 30% of the male population good marriage material. Of course, a lot men do get married in the end, but always be reminded that you are a compromise choice. She married you because are a good person who asked her.

The rest of my blog will show you how to generate income towards that end.

c) Go for women who can give you a stable marriage.

As it turns out, Mother nature can be a hypocrite when it comes to relationships.

Stable marriages need conscientious husbands but divorces generally come from neurotic wives. Neurotic women are negative, get anxious over small things and are emotionally of the high maintenance variety. Unfortunately, I suspect that evolution has also made neurotic women hotter because no guy would want them otherwise.

For your parent's and future children's sake, don't do neurotic women. Some possible markers of neuroticism are their propensity towards Goth gear, depressing Evanescence music and black clothing.

Set up a test. Travel with your girlfriend to a third world country and see if she gives you hell in a place without clean toilets or air conditioning. If she does, drop her like a ton of bricks and go back to your Playstation 4.

Your imaginary children will thank you for saving them years of psychological therapy.

d) Take your time and use your age to your advantage

Be thankful that your sperm will stay healthy well into your forties !

Men don't need Apple to freeze their sperm. They just need Google to find more porn.

The lesson for men is that they can wait. Old age and treachery will always triumph against youth and speed. For one thing, you need build up your income to reach 70% percentile, but access to the hotter women comes with higher socio-economic status.

But once again, don't make the mistake Millenials make with their lives.  Do not throw away your twenties, work hard and upgrade continuously and take steps to rise in this world. You can travel round the world in your 40s with your 18 year old wife once you make a million bucks following the advice from the rest of the Singapore Financial blogosphere.

But leave the intellectual masturbation to the 40 year old uncles.

e) Choose your venue with care

My advice for men and women are similar. I think bars and lounges are hot beds for crazy neurotic women to hang out, you are better off finding someone who is into self-improvement and some religious organizations.

Good luck if you go SDN.

f) Guys cannot fail in the relationship game

Personally, I think while marriage and children are great, single men run the risk of divorce, which can be so painful, it makes staying single so much more comfortable.

So what happens if no woman wants to marry you ?

Worst case, you travel to Europe so that you can avoid relatives on CNY. You might be depressed on Valentine's Day. You become a life-time member of the Geylang Community Club.

Of special note is that as single men get older and older, their bitterness grows and cynicism takes root. But that's also not your problem, its the problem of your friends who have to cope with you and self-righteousness. 

As such, unlike women, who have live in a world of glass ceilings and double standards built by men.

Guys cannot lose the relationship game.

Just don't be too fixated with wanting companionship.


  1. Haha nice job and very apt to post it on V day. A lot of hard truths set out here.

  2. As a woman, I find there is a grain of truth in what you say, which is rather depressing. For a modern woman to be considered successful, she must not only have a good job that pays well, but also be beautiful and have a happy family. The first is more likely as time goes on (as is the case with men), but beauty certainly declines with age. And since research shows that men tend to exchange their higher incomes for greater beauty in their spouses, her chances of attracting a similarly successful man possibly declines as well.

    So, what is an ambitious woman to do? How can she "game the system"? Opt for cosmetic surgery to prolong the illusion of youth and beauty?

  3. Well my previous article did make an attempt at giving out some advice.

  4. Maybe this is why i fear marriage...

  5. I always think that men in the 21st century no longer have advantages over women. Especially the latter has increasing access to education and career opportunities.

    Now you put it this way, women are now expected to have more achievements than they would have in the past. And the irony is that the more achievements they have, their marriage options reduces.

    Tough to be a woman. 3 cheers to them (while I secretly gloat as a man).