Saturday, March 23, 2019

BBFA The RPG - From Keyboard Warrior to Marriage Material !

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We all have to begin somewhere in life.

I have spent a large part of my younger life as a BBFA so I know that BBFAs have a strong affinity with the Financial Independence Movement.

Once of the core strengths of the BBFA is that they are not constrained by society's judgement on their approach towards financial planning. This gives them the freedom to work towards building a pile of Fuck You Money without society making them feel bad for doing it.

One very effective way to achieve your financial goals is by gamification, so I decided to imagine what the BBFA RPG would roughly look like.

A BBFA's prime attribute is Intelligence. BBFA's generally have no use for Charisma.

The level advancement table should look like this.

Level Title Portfolio Size Passive Income / Month
1 Keyboard Warrior  $-    $-  
2 MMORPG Maven  $20,000.00  $100.00
3 Data Hog  $40,000.00  $200.00
4 Gian Png Kia  $80,000.00  $400.00
5 Chicken God  $160,000.00  $800.00
6 Soi Cowboy  $320,000.00  $1,600.00
7 FIRE Disco Dancer  $640,000.00  $3,200.00
8 Marriage Material  $1,280,000.00  $6,400.00

This game assumes that 6% yields are possible in an income portfolio.

The Special Abilities of a BBFA is as follows :

At 1st level, the BBFA gains the title of Keyboard Warrior and gains the power of Rebuke/Turn Woman. When activating this special ability, The BBFA goes online and blames everything on women who prefer hanging out with jerks instead of nice guys like them.

At 2nd level, the BBFA gains the title of MMORPG Maven. At this level, the BBFA no longer needs to pay his MMORPG subscriptions with his earned income as his dividends will effectively pay them for free. Once a month, the BBFA can buy a virtual item using dividend income. Just feel good about himself.

At 3rd level, the BBFA gains the title of Data Hog. Home broadband and mobile phone expenses are now paid by their passive income. The BBFA gains immunity to lag. His rate of Porn Download doubles as a result of a better Fibre plan.

At 4th level, the BBFA becomes a Gian Png Kia. He no longer need to work for hawker centre food. Once a week, he can order a piece of fish along with his economic rice. He can, of course, entertain the idea that women might be impressed by this giving the DM a good laugh in the process.

At 5th level, the BBFA becomes a Chicken God. Twice a month, he can visit Geylang and have all his expenses paid by his passive income. He can now use masterwork condoms (ribbed for his pleasure) and gains advantage to all save versus sexually transmitted disease.

At 6th level, the BBFA gains the title of Soi Cowboy. Once a quarter, he can summon 1d6 BBFAs of lower level accompany him to visit Bangkok. This trip is fully paid for by his dividends. Unfortunately, his posse will have to pay their own way. No money no honey.

At 7th level, the BBFA gains the title of FIRE Disco Dancer. He gets a taste of financial freedom. He gains immunity to retrenchment and no longer takes psychic damage from his day job.

At 8th level, the BBFA gains the title of Marriage Material. A single woman of marriageable age that comes within 30 feet of the BBFA must save versus Celibacy or be charmed by him. The single woman can make a saving throw again every month. If she makes her saving throw, she is immune to the BBFA's charms until he gains another level.

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