I've been hearing a lot of stories about rage-quitting in my loose gamer networks. Folks, my generation just rage-quits a game halfway through, which is actually really disrespectful to the other players on the board. But at a broader level, Gen X is really starting to get into the habit of quitting, whether it's relationships, underperforming investments, jobs, or just hobbies.
Quitting something is a two-sided affair. People get cranky when they get old. Sometimes the other party is indeed an asshole, but other times, it's the quitter who no longer has the emotional reserves to tolerate shit in their life. For folks in my generation, quitting can only increase, as sometimes we just want more peace and don't want to deal with others' eccentricities.
We can build a logical framework to determine if it is tied to quitting something.
The first question to ask is straightforward: Does life get better when we subtract something from our lives? Test this hypothesis, take the matter out or cut the person off and see if life really gets better; if so, it passes the first test.
The second question is whether other people have quit for the same reasons, or if we can find a way to describe the mischief. This is something I learned from Gen Z: while it is convenient to quit something, there should also be room to exercise mercy, because you can work on yourself to cope better.
The book Red Flag/Green Flag by Dr Ali Fenwick is instrumental because Gen X lacks the vocabulary to label toxic behaviour.
What kind of relationship is a situationship? Why is such and such a behaviour intolerable? Is it because someone is trying to undermine you by amplifying your insecurities? Some behaviours look like innocent green flags to Gen X but are red flags to Gen Z, and we stupidly tolerate them while the younger person will run away!
If the toxic behaviour can be categorised and labelled, then there is at least a precedent for other people deciding to end a relationship. So it passes the second step.
The two-step test is a firmer guide than just flagrantly rage-quitting, but to be fair, some folks really have been tolerating substandard behaviour for too long, and I know some of them, and I quietly wish them all the best.
So lately, I've been asking myself this question:
Should I quit my D&D that I have been playing for 40+ years?
Amazingly, quitting D&D passes the first test!
I would save on the amount I spend on D&D books, and I already have a plethora of hobbies to take their place, as I'm now a content creator, trainer, and actually in singing classes. I can move into wargames, or even play CCGs again, as my kids are into trading cards. My courses are like a game run as a DM anyway. From a utility perspective, D&D no longer offers me a lot other than my obsession with running through combat mechanics in my head and dreaming up doing tons of damage to imaginary monsters, which I can apply to programming trading algorithms anyway and make lots of real money.
It's the second test that I am ambivalent about.
Yes, there is precedent for D&D going woke, and people are quitting because of the change in art direction. It's also not returning to normality, unlike the game and movie industries, where wokeness is now exacting a heavy financial penalty on the companies involved. D&D has, in fact, doubled down, and the demographic has become more diverse. But the wokeness does not affect or offend me, as I can tolerate the player base I play with if I pick older gamers or even fellow financial influencers.
So the second test fails, but writing this article took a lot of effort, as D&D has been a part of my personal identity for almost my entire life. I suspect my kids will be a significant factor - if they are not interested in my hobby, I will have to eventually let go so they don't have to dispose of it themselves.
Hopefully, before the year ends, I either get to play or DM the 2024 ruleset a few times with some pals.
I've been away from the game for a while now, but I'm enjoying the reads and keeping some networking ties with the gaming community.
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