Saturday, November 16, 2024

Social Life Update : How to increase your happiness without using money.


It is time for another update as I reach my 50th-year milestone on Christmas Day. 

Today, I will talk about my social life, which has seen some tuning up recently. In 2024, as my energy and tolerance levels are dipping slowly, I've decided to create higher-quality engagements with a lower frequency. 

In other words, do more with less.

For many middle-aged folks, some social engagements add little value because the subject matter has stopped being attractive. Others may create a sense of negativity and unease, but we can get so used to them that we ignore them until they bring us down for days and permanently reduce our quality of life if we don't stop them. Lower energy levels mean disengaging from some lower-value-added activities and shifting the focus to more pleasant ones. 

This is the essence of decent ageing. A more tactical use of our time and attention, which we can default to our families.

The test is also quite simple: Does it feel better to engage in a new social activity? If it does not, then you should end the engagement as soon as possible. With time freed, try out engagements with friends you would not normally do without the spare time, and then test to see if the activities fit and feel better. 

Be open-minded to changes, and recycle your time somewhere else if you make the wrong move. 

One significant change is that I go to a Japanese Karaoke bar to sing for three hours nonstop once a month or so or when I get spare cash from government handouts. I will hog the entire karaoke because I tend to appear when there are no clients. Total damage is $44. I don't drink alcohol, just two bottles of Soda water. I am accompanied by friends who sing casually but generally prefer to be there to converse. I focus on my singing because I will qualify for Golden Age Talentime quite soon and don't want to get dragged into discussions about dividends, stocks, or legal matters.

Another change is that I've done some soul-searching about my D&D hobby, and I decided that my only motivation to run a game is if I'm paid to do so. For many years, the community has tolerated abusive Dungeon Masters who do it because it is a power trip—they get godlike powers over players who generally are doing better in life than they are. Still, players need to actually have a viable alternative. So, the professionalization of the Game Master is inevitable. We should pay good DMs at a reasonable rate. In support of that belief,  I've recently attended a delightful job interview to become a Professional Dungeon Master. Sadly, I did not get the job ( but it was probably the most enjoyable job interview I ever had), but I will look at this space aggressively as the skillset reinforces my work as a trainer and lecturer.  

Over the year, I have learned a few things about reducing social engagements and why it always works out for me. 

Because my media appearances always attract financially responsible people, the folks who invite me for dinner are generally okay, and I get to talk to people who have goals in life and are doing good things to improve their future. So, somehow, my social diaries always write themselves. 

Second, with the extra time, I've been spending some weeks trying to understand why some of my genuine fans / high-paying customers have yet to actually invest in the financial markets, even though they are loyal customers who sign up for every course I run. This bothers me a lot, but I have invested weeks to finally get at least two guys to have a small portfolio running. ( Two guys are occasional colleagues, so I guide them, but they also buddy each other. It's a sound system, but I gotta think about scaling this. )

The first reason is that people are human beings with shifting financial priorities; a student wants to get a house, so he can only start after he has moved into his new place. Another reason is that even though modern brokerages are easy to use, they tend to send many warning messages due to compliance requirements, which is very intimidating to beginners. You need the courage to tell IBKR not to display this message again. The third reason is that investors need to trade off diversified portfolios for trading fluency. To get someone into the markets, you have to start with 2-3 stocks that cost less than $2,000 to trade but to do this, the trainer must caveat that this is not a diversified mix of counters and is just a confidence-building exercise.  Finally, the odds of succeeding rests upon the student's digital literacy, so if you get someone above 60, make sure he's an engineer before you agree to help. 

Anyway, my family is out on a trip this upcoming week, but I'm stuck with lectures I need to conduct; we'll see if my social calendar fills out this week. Let's use random chance for blog readers -  I'm available Mondays from next Friday until next week. 

Some loyal readers have reached out to me in the past. Let me know if you are free.



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