Sunday, March 14, 2010

If women are not choosy, men will have no standards.

I was privileged enough to read this article from another blogger in Singapore.

Rachel Zeng's Tirade

Personally, Rachel is a idealist who wants the world to conform to her liberal conscience. There is a better way to get the message across to Singaporean men if she has issues with them. Coming up with an essay to shove egalitarian down Singapore's throats will only result in being ignored.

Get this :

A) We Singaporeans do not want equality.
B) Every election result is a proof of this reality.
C) Meritocracy is not equality.
D) Some people do get a lot more than others. And their kids get even more than that.

If I were Rachel, I would approach the problem in a different way.

When men accuse women of being materialistic. The proper answer from feminists should be,"Well, so what's YOUR problem, not man enough to meet our standards izzit ?"

Many of us privileged Singaporeans who live carefree lives to the point of being able to blog about it know that we exist because our mums married correctly.

Our mums chose our dads who then proceeded to raise us, send us to school and give us enough support and advice to have great careers. In short, our mums had GREAT TASTE, that's why we are getting along in Singapore !

A human female, unlike a human male, invests a lot more in parenting than a human male. As such, evolution has armed women with a nose of sniffing what's best for kids. Tall, athletic men with symmetrical features signal healthy children in the future. Wealth signals availability of resources. Women are so-called materialistic because Mother Nature ( being a woman ) intended it.

This comes back to my biggest contribution to resolve the plight of the Single man of Singapore.
The magic figure is an income of about $4,500 a month. This puts you somewhere along top 30th percentile in earnings that will make you acceptable to the average female graduate who forms the biggest pool of single women in Singapore.

Work hard, get this resolved first, then focus on other areas like your dress sense, sense of chivalry, vocabulary, etc. Failing which, take your income to country where people make dramatically less. Statistics are beginning to show that Singaporean men are approaching this golden era of being God's greatest gift to Asia. Our GDP per capita is solid and we're growing 6.5% this year.

I have advice for women:

a) Don't wait too long.

I sound like the PAP now but us guys will accumulate our wealth and in time, we will become great catches in SE Asia or North Asia. Singapore men are appreciating assets like growth equity. Singapore women need to keep yourselves looking good. If Singaporean are going to accept that Singaporean women are realistic, then get real about about what we Singaporean men really WANT from a relationship.

b) Turn men down decisively, be cruel if necessary.

It's very painful to listen to stories of rejection from my single friends because it's such a long drawn out affair that destroys morale.

We men recover from rejection fast and we're good at moving on.

After all, we were rejected from top secondary schools, the gifted program, OCS and some local universities. Don't say,"I not free this Friday but next week maybe but my dog got birthday. " That's weak and you're wasting our time.

Say something like this,"You do not fit into my image of what a husband should be like." or " I don't think my family will be proud of me if I bring you home." Over the long term, we will appreciate this.

c) And look after your own finances.

I tell my wife this since I started dating her.

I wanted her to have her own financial resources because infatuation does not last long - 2 years at most. Enduring love in a marriage is more like respect and companionship but women need to account for straying men. When men hit mid-life crisis, they will do all sorts of things to prove their virility so women should maintain a piggy bank of their own.

6 comments:

Rachel said...

Hi there, thanks for visiting my humble little blog. :)

Just a few clarifications here:

"Personally, Rachel is a idealist who wants the world to conform to her liberal conscience."

Yup I may be an idealist but I have never wanted the world to conform to my 'liberal conscience'. I have no issues with most Singaporean men and men in general, only those who still see the need for women to be subservient to them. In my opinion, no women should be subservient to men and vice versa.

"Coming up with an essay to shove egalitarian down Singapore's throats will only result in being ignored."

I always seek to hear the opinions of others and I was sharing an opinion with anyone who is interested to read and discuss about it. Why is it that when someone expresses an opinion that is not too 'mainstream', people chooses to accuse them of shoving their opinions down people's throats? I didn't force anyone to read it or to agree with me at all. Readers are always very welcome to express disagreement by commenting, sending me an email or writing on their own blogs.

That is all I have to say for now. Interesting opinions you have by the way, although I don't totally agree with some of it.

Cheers,
Rachel

Christopher Ng Wai Chung said...

Rachel,

Thank you for posting here.

We men are not just genetically programmed to want women to be subservient to us. I think many of us want other men to be subservient to us as well.

Here's hoping that we can build a better blogsphere in Singapore. So do post away on what your disagreements with my postings are over here or your blog.

I will do my utmost to defend my ideas robustly on this blog.

Regards

Ruzhi said...

Hi Christopher,

I came across your article by chance and it was an interesting read. Though I understand where you're coming from from a man's perspective (I'm a guy myself), I'd like to point out one of your comments which I didn't quite agree on:

1) "Statistics are beginning to show that Singaporean men are approaching this golden era of being God's greatest gift to Asia. Our GDP per capita is solid and we're growing 6.5% this year."

"I sound like the PAP now but us guys will accumulate our wealth and in time, we will become great catches in SE Asia or North Asia."

Having money is one thing but it doesn't make a man a 'great catch' or 'God's gift'. I have always believed that what makes a man attractive to a woman (and the other way round) is how the former treats the latter. Gentlemanly manners, sincerity and more importantly, the acknowledgement that women nowadays are educated and independent and hence need not be submissive etc. are qualities that should be emphasised in the modern man - I'd say these are more important than having pots of gold. Being a good provider financially is one thing, but what people really need from their partners is simply a good partner.

Putting this aside, I did realise that there's actually much debating going on between SG men and women, and it's usually the men saying the women are too materialistic, and the women saying the men are too chauvinistic, boring etc. I find this very worrying because Singapore's fertility is very low, so low that the people cannot replace themselves and the Government has to import more and more foreigners to fill in the gap. If Singaporean men and women don't get their act together, soon this country will lose its authentic identity - there'll be too many foreigners that we won't know what a true blue Singaporean is. Though I'm a foreigner, I do detest it when foreigners are given more priority in jobs, scholarships etc. Hopefully there'll be a concrete solution to this problem.

Rachel said...

Hi Christopher,

Not all men seek subservient women, and I know that because I have alot of male friends myself. My blog post was just expressing my opinions on those who do so.

At the moment, I am unable to write about some of the disagreements that I have with regards to your opinions but when I do so, I hope that instead of 'defending', it will result in a discussion so that we can understand each other's perspectives and clarification should there be any misunderstanding from my part.

P.S: I agree with Ruzhi ("Having money is one thing but it doesn't make a man a 'great catch' or 'God's gift'.").

Cheers,
Rachel

Christopher Ng Wai Chung said...

Wow ! That's 4 comments overnight !

Thanks for the feedback.

I'd like to point out that the modern man is expected to be quite a lot of things. Somehow, he must be sensitive to the modern woman's needs but still be able to meet the lofty benchmarks set by society's expectations of them.

I can't really challenge these expectations.

I can only point out that in studies which track the spouses of women who rank above average in attractiveness, they invariably have a higher income.

As for men who do not need subservient women, sure, they definitely exist because of the socialization of western media and liberal education.

But let's look at aggregate figures. A larger proportion of single women are graduates as opposed to single men.

Could this be because male egos cannot accept women who are economically just as capable or there is hidden wisdom behind demographic trends ? That men inherently realize that career women have to pay a higher opportunity cost when they decide to be mothers and so skip out on the graduate women ?

Regards

Xizor2000 said...

My friend of 32 years is married with a Hongkonger.

2 of my poly classmates, one married a Malaysian, and another a China girl.

Another good friend and ex-colleague of mine and my uncle married a Vietnamese.

My cousin married a Thai.

You married a Malaysian.

That's a good half a dozen of people who are good friends and within my immediate family who married foreigners. Many more simply just choose to remain single.

Anyway, I know the 2 Vietnamese ladies, and my poly classmate's Malaysian wife are rather feisty as I have seen it for myself. I doubt man really want their women to be subservient.

OTOH, I know what can kill a relationship. An overly suspicious woman, a woman who always compare her man to another and condemns him, a woman who ceaselessly rants and blames everyone else for the problems. A woman who is skinny as a bamboo and insist: I am fat. A woman who hoards more stuff than they need: e.g. countless LV bags, diamonds et al. A woman who subjects her man to endless term tests on 'how much he loves her' and fails him all the time. A woman who posts idiotic questions like "if both my mother and I were drowning, who would you save first" where either answer is wrong (I'll call the lifeguard). A woman who espouses liberal feminists ideals, insists on oversetting the man's role as the head of the household, but yet expects the man to open the car doors, pay for her and buy her the LV bags and diamonds even when she boasts she doesn't need the man to do so for her.

That explains why our fathers are more successful than us in getting our mate. Do we see such behaviours in our mothers?!

A friend once said this as a joke: "The life of a man is simple. All he needs is food, sleep, shelter, and entertainment. Their life becomes complicated when a woman shows up. That happened to Adam, right in the beginning, in the Garden of Eden."